2008 Olympics Updates

I spoke out against GB head coach Peter Suk immediately after my quarter-final defeat at the Olympic Games and then retracted it on reflection in my blog later that day.

Since then, I’ve had more time to reflect and I stand by what I originally said and if a lot of things don’t get better, I will pack it in and that’s not me being a sore loser.

Concerns need to be raised for the benefit of the whole of GB archery - if we can push on, the funding will get there, if not, the sport goes back to no funding and fewer competitors.

The next three or four years are going to be interesting with London 2012 coming up - we should get more input into what we need to become world and Olympic champions.

I know I’m capable of winning Olympic medals, but I need to have the right support.

This is the first year since I turned senior in 2002 that I’ve not won a medal in target or field archery despite shooting better than ever.

That has been down to a lack of confidence and the mental side of things and things going on behind the scenes.

This year, everything was wrong in the build-up to the Olympics with the selections for the World Cup circuit.

If we bombed out in the first round of a competition, Peter would say don’t worry - but confidence gets knocked if you’re not doing well.

We need a do-or-die mentality - put everything in until your fingers bleed.

We weren’t prepared properly.

I have no problem with Peter away from archery, but we have different methods within the sport.

Team morale was low at the Team GB holding camp in Macau but Peter said he expected that because of nerves and that it would be alright when we got to Beijing. But it wasn’t and it was down to the team to try and lift ourselves when we should have been focusing on competing.

Since my quarter-final defeat at the Olympics, I have not spoken to Peter. He left for Korea straight after the competition; there was no de-brief as we have always had after every other event, which was a bit strange.

I have always worked with my own personal coach at home and things have always gone perfectly - I have always been in charge and every medal I’ve ever won I’ve done by learning how to approach different matches mentally.

This year, the confidence has been non-existant and by the time I was knocked out at the Olympics, it was the first time I had lost control in a match situation.

I want to emphasise though that I really enjoyed my first Olympics experience despite the problems.

We’ve got a meeting in October with all the British archers who competed at the Olympics and Paralympics which will hopefully sort some things out.

Before that I’m off to meet the Queen at Buckingham Palace as part of the big parade through London with all the other British Olympians on 16 October, which I’m really looking forward to.

Away from the competition, I had a great time in Beijing, spending time with my mates and going to watch other sports.

The best was watching Beth Tweddle in the gymnastics - we went because we know a few of the gymnasts from training at Lilleshall - I’ve never been to a gymnasium hall, it was massive and the atmosphere was great, particularly when the Chinese were competing.

Beth was unlucky and, even though we didn’t know much about the technical side, we thought her performance deserved third!

The athlete’s village is not as mad as everyone makes out - there were a lot of people there who still hadn’t competed when we had finished, so there is respect for everyone else.

It’s a different story in the city though - the bars were rammed, mainly with Australians! I tended to stick with the archery lads and lasses from Australia, America and Canada as we all know each other through competing across the world - it was a brilliant experience.

Me and Larry Godfrey had a few good days enjoying ourselves but we had the option to come home a day early before the closing ceremony, so we did.

When I got home and saw the closing ceremony and the plane carrying the rest of the team, I thought it would have been nice to be on it, but then it was nice to arrive at Heathrow and slip through unnoticed.

Since I got back to Cumbria, I’ve had a bit of post-Olympics blues - out in Beijing we were living in a bubble and everything was done for you so we could enjoy ourselves and focus on our event.

But when we got back, nobody told us how hard it is to get back to reality.

I was back a couple of days before I resumed training and my next aim is to qualify for the British field archery team for the World Games next year.

Field archery is extreme archery - there is a course with 24 targets which can be up a cliff, down a cliff, or across a ravine and you shoot three arrows at each target. They are all different sizes and on day one you have to guess how far away they are. On day two, the distances are marked.

I use the same bow as for the target archery, just with lighter arrows - field archery has always been at my heart, I was number one in the world a few years back and I’ve won many medals including a World Games silver and World Team silver and I was also European junior champion.

I was hoping to be given a wildcard into the British team for the World Games as I used to dominate the sport, but they wouldn’t accept me, so I’m training hard and I want to bang in some big scores at the first of two qualifiers next weekend in the north-east and prove a point.

Click here for GB team manager Hilda Gibson’s response.

Alan Wills was talking to BBC Sport’s Peter Scrivener.

The fact that I am actually going to the Olympic Games kicked in for the first time on Tuesday when I went to pick up my kit.

Last month’s qualifying shoot-off, followed by finding out my mum had suffered a heart attack and a World Cup meet in France had left me mentally exhausted, but I’ve had a few days of relaxation and now I’m raring to go.

I’ve also got two large suitcases full of stuff like suits, shoes, tracksuits, a camcorder and the GB mascot.

I am delighted for my mum - she was in tears after being given the all-clear earlier this week as it means she can come to Beijing to watch me.

And despite being exhausted before I went to Boe in France for the fourth World Cup meet of the season, I performed really well.

I qualified 12th out of 150 competitors for the elimination rounds, which is my best ever, and went on to finish ninth overall, which was great preparation for the Olympics.

I only really had one problem, which was in the last 16 match against a Korean archer.

I had a really good grouping of arrows in the first end, and was doing well in the second, but my final arrow veered off course and went into the three because it was damaged, after having hit another arrow in the previous end.

It ultimately cost me the match as I lost by one point, but it gave me a timely reminder to check each arrow and take a bit more time and care.

I was really pleased with my overall performance and came back to England to spend a couple of days relaxing with my parents.

That helped me recover mentally before I travelled down to Lilleshall, which is where I am now for a team get together.

We are staging a mock Olympics event and just spending time together, which is great for team morale.

Then it’s off to Macau to the Team GB holding camp before we head to Beijing. I get in on 5 August which gives me a couple of training days before the official practice day, which is on 8 August, the day of the opening ceremony.

That means that I’ll probably miss out. I certainly won’t be marching behind the British flag because my session does not finish in time.

But there is talk of us being able to get tickets in the stand if we want to go along a little later and take in the atmosphere.

I’d like to go if we can get in and out easily, but as I am straight into qualifying the next day, I don’t want anything to interfere with my preparations.

I am going into the Games with no expectations whatsoever, though.

I’ve found that if I expect too much of myself then that takes away my focus; so long as I shoot my arrows as well as I can I’ll be happy with my performance.

I have the confidence in my ability to know I can beat anyone in the world and I have proved that before. If I do my best I can have no regrets and anything could happen.

The archery events are all over in the first few days, so the plan is to stay on until the end of the Games and just enjoy the Olympic experience.

I’m staying in the village and I plan to party, see some other sports, hopefully meet some good people and have a bit of a holiday.

It will probably just be me and Larry Godfrey, though, as our third team-mate Simon Terry could be coming back a bit earlier.

But Larry has been to the Games before and can show me what to do and what not to do!

I’m aiming to be back here in the week before the Games to give you my thoughts on Beijing and the Macau holding camp.

Alan Wills was talking to BBC Sport’s Peter Scrivener.